So. I'll just state this right up front - this post will come across as highly self-righteous. Since, I am just doing this to get things off of my chest, I figure that every once in a while, I can do that.

So, I HATE DIVORCE. That said, I understand that there are VERY legitimate reasons for some divorces. I have even cheered at the end of some marriages. That said, I still think it is, for the most part, evil. It may be a necessary evil, but it is still evil.

Between my husband and I, we have six siblings. One has never been married, so that leaves five siblings. Four of them have been divorced and remarried. At least half of them have taken the time to make much better decisions the second time around. They admitted that there were things that they did that contributed to the divorce, worked on themselves and married awesome people. We are very happy for them.

We have also been through the divorce of cousins and good friends. I will admit, as will my husband, that we are not privy to all of the going ons in their marriages, thank goodness. I would never wish to be privy to all of that, nor would I want anyone to know all the ins-and-outs of my marriage.

Sometimes, people make very stupid decisions. They have that right, but I am sick of being dragged into it. You want to get married - fine. You want to get divorced - that's your business, but you need to be aware that it effects more than just the two people who were married. You do not have the right to tell everyone else, or your ex, for that matter, who they can talk to, who they can stay friends with or ask them to take sides. I don't want to take sides and I don't want to know the dirty laundry. There were times that I thought I did, but after I found out things, I realized that I really didn't want to know and I always felt worse after. Please, if you feel the need to divorce, don't make it a divorce for everyone else in your lives.

Marriage is not easy. I love my husband and he loves me, but after almost thirteen years of marriage, I can honestly say that there were times when both of us would have been "justified" in walking away by today's standards - and it would have been wrong for us to do it. My children deserve a stable environment, my parents don't need more heartache, and I am so much better off for having stayed and working things out, my husband too. (At least that is what he says when we talk about it. His actions say so too, but you would have to ask him.)

Please know, that I understand that some marriages are beyond repair. I understand that some mistakes are made and I do have compassion towards that. I just don't appreciate when mistake is compounded upon mistake and my family has to pay the price for it, but we get no say in it and are told that we just have to live with it. Truth is, we don't have to live with it, we can choose to stay away from the disaster of your decisions, and it is not wrong of us to do so. If that makes you feel self-conscious, that's okay with me. If you can leave your marriage because your not happy, we can leave our associations with you because we are not happy with the way our relationship has developed.

Well, that's the end of my self-righteousness for this post. Thanks for letting me get this off of my chest.